Divine Wrath Forums

So today's (yesterday's really) DW mini is pretty condensed from what it was originally supposed to be. But as it has been stated by JJ and myself, alot of things will get lost in the final transition over to comic strip form. In the original script of this DW mini, JJ wanted the initial conversation to revolve around current events and/or topics. For example, a possibility was the Angels and Demons movie, or Ponzi schemes (not really) but for space sake we just tied it in with the previous DWmini. It wasnt a relevant conversation anyways, just a sort of "walked in on" moment.
Then Richard Dean Anderson from ABC's MacGyver ( © American Broadcasting Company circa 1980-something) was supposed to walk in and make a comment related to another clipped part from the main comic. I believe his line was, "I can't get enough of that cake's backwards compatibility." Which would have made more sense if I had included the bit about memory card sprinkles and stuff.
Or we could have kept it and it would have been an obscure poop joke (which is always funny)
The end panel was supposed to have a different line as well. "He keeps escaping from his packing crate!" was the original script line, but again, for space sake it was cut down.
JJ creates brilliant scripts and during the final editing process I feel horrible when I have to cut things down or omit thing entirely. From what I can tell in our short tenure in the webcomic field, this is a problem that effects all comics. With all the imagery and pictures put into a panel, it doesnt make much room for dialogue. And its a fine line to try and figure out how much of the panel can be covered with word bubbles without taking from the overall image.

That or maybe Im doing it wrong.

We'll get better, I promise.

*sob, sob, sob*

~r3v

That's an issue I've faced as well. Granted, not as often since the main subject of my comics is silent, but there have been a few where I've had to figure out where I'm going to put in the word bubbles.

There are two ways to make sure you can effectively use word bubbles. The first is to plan for them when you're doing the layout for the page. I don't ever do that so I usually have to stick with the second. What's not important enough that it can be blocked out by a word bubble.

I think this is usually why lettering is not usually done by the the guys in charge of pencils, inks and colors in most trade comics. They've just spent all morning on that fracking background and now they're being asked to cover up their hard work with words?. Nuh-uh.

You do a really good job with your speech bubbles. They're rarely obtrusive and you don't sacrifice the spirit of the joke. The Mini's always come out as they should be, funny distilled down to its essence. Leave the verbose, intellectual jokes with a two-hour set-up to the full comic.

r3v3rend wrote: "He keeps escaping from his packing crate!" was the original script line...

Actually, I think the shorter version is a more suitable to how it was drawn. Playing it up as "The guy from MacGyver," to me, implies that it's the character, not the actor, that you have. And I bet that once you got someone like MacGyver-the-character into your home, they would NEVER leave. They would be far too busy showing off how cool and smart they are, until your very brain rots in a desperate attempt to escape the unholy situation you placed yourself in.

Thus, a panicked "He won't leave" would feel far more suitable then an actual statement on how you cannot get rid of him, and works better with the wild, frightened, deranged look on his face. I would expect the "packing crate" comment to look more like a frightened whisper then a panicked shout (cause lord knows what that loon would get in his head to do if he overheard you.)

Not to mention the easier speech bubble and text effort the shorter line gives you, the artist on a deadline... oh wait, I just did.

... drat.

*ACTIVATE SARCASM DETECTORS BEFORE READING FURTHER*

And now, a Disclaimer: The above is an opinion, and only an opinion. It is entirely possible that, yes, you ARE loony enough to shout "I can't get rid of him" within hearing of someone who can make a tactical nuclear weapon out of a ping pong ball, a small measure of acid, and a bent copper wire, without necessarily being insane. None the less, you are wrong, because if you read all of this, including the disclaimer, your sense of 100% American "I am right because I say so" is sorely underdeveloped, meaning either you're not strong enough to defend your opinions (in which case you are wrong, because I'm the strong willed one here), or else a foreigner (in which case you are wrong, because I'm an American, see previous). So be gone with you, limey.

And now, a Disclaimer on the Disclaimer: The previous comment about Americans knowing everything is a joke, and is not intended to represent the opinions of myself, the cast and crew of DW, or anybody else on this forum. Also, I like British people, and mean no disrespect with my use of the term "limey," which as I understand it can be insulting. If you feel somehow insulted or dismayed after I disclaimered my last disclaimer, please see the previous statement on weak willed people, then give up on any attempt at holding your own opinion and just follow my evil bidding.

Umm, you lost me at "...drat" Bright. As for the trims and edits, as I have said before to Rigs, I see the comic in moving form, with a sound track that is unobtrusive and doesn't take away from the scene. When I am writing a script, I am merely paneling off snap shots that I think are most important in the scene playing in my head. Really, I prepare a heavy-texted storyboard for the artist's interpretation. That's just the way my brain works, and I'm really looking forward to the animated feature film when an animation studio in Korea can do the nitty-gritty and we can focus wholly on our story development, haha. But really, I've been happy with all of the choices my artist has made, and sometimes I put stuff in knowing it will be cut, but including it for my best friend's enjoyment. Case-in-point (*inside joke warning*) the "flashback qualifiers" at the top of each panel in the page 6 script.

Which brings me to another question: should we be putting up copies of the original script on the days the corresponding page comes out. So people can see both sides of the process?

Food for thought.

Adieu

I approve of this idea.

~r3v

I also agree, gives people the inside view, as well as another reason to visit the forums. (Could, in theory, put that on the bottom of the comics or somewhere else on the website, "visit the forums for the original script and outtakes.," sorta thing).

Right on. I like that. I will consult with the oracle of internetiveness...Mr. Johnny Rigsbee. How and where should I post the scripts? I'm thinking I will put exactly what the script looks like, including the asides and notes so they can really peek behind the curtain. The one issue is that I sometimes write multiple pages in one script, so I would have to cut and trim as needed to put them out in a timely fashion, or hold it back till all of the material has gone up in comic form. Anyway. Let's do this.

As a mod, you can sticky posts you make JJ. So if you have access to a scanner and then upload it to an image hosting site, (I use Flickr.com), you can copy the BBcode it gives you when you view the image and then paste it in a post for whatever particular comic post it belongs to.

Also, by all means if I happen to be late with a Discuss this Strip post for a new update, feel free to go ahead and post a new one. It may happen on occassion since I seem to do most of my updates late at night and tend to be really sleepy when Im done. I just ask that you follow the format that Im using for the subject title for each strip thread. yknow - "DWmini (insert#) "(insert page title)"

And I dont know if you got my Twitter DM to you JJ, but yea, if your serious about getting WAR, then lets do it!

~r3v

I will go ahead and work on getting the first 4 comic script pages up online for people to peruse. Good stuff. Thanks for the guidance.